In Memory of our baby we never got to meet...

2 years ago today, April 17, 2008 we had a miscarriage. I was about 5-6 weeks along.
Today as I reflect I am filled with peace and hope that God restores and turns our mourning to dancing. As I dance with our blessing, Nataleigh I am reminded that God gives and takes away. Blessed be His name!
This is a post I wrote at 35 weeks of pregnancy with Nataleigh (a year ago today)...
Many people refer to the baby as a "bun in the oven." I was thinking yesterday how much I love to bake and was thinking about people referring to a baby in the womb as a "bun in the oven" and thought about how I constantly check whatever I have baking-just to make sure it's not going to burn, see if it's done...I get so impatient. I'm going to be honest, there have been many times I haven't been patient and trusting in this pregnancy and have wanted to check on my "bun in the oven" but really couldn't. There's only so much you see/hear at the doctor's and apparently that hasn't been enough for peace of mind. So once again I was reminded by our loving, graceful, compassionate Father that He's got it all under control, and I don't (and never will).
At the beginning of this pregnancy it was even more tough to give all control over to God because 5 months before we got pregnant with Nataleigh we had a miscarriage. There are probably a few readers out there that don't know this and that's because we didn't feel it necessary to tell the whole world at the time. But now that it's been just over a year ago since it's happened much growing and healing have taken place! I can't begin to tell you how much Chris and I have grown closer together through this loss and even better yet- how our journeys with God have taken huge strides. And for this we are blessed and thankful!
So, at the beginning of this pregnancy with Nataleigh it was VERY HARD to let go and let God fully take this precious life into His hands and do with it what He had planned all along. I will never forget the overwhelming peace that came to me the night before we went to our very first doctor's visit. We would get to see her via ultrasound and hear her heartbeat just at 6 weeks and a few days! We got to so early because of having a previous miscarriage. The doctor wanted to see me every 2 weeks during the first trimester to closely monitor her.
The peace that I had was from God speaking directly to me about our baby's life. He asked me if I believed she was His child and I said yes. He asked if I believed she was His child even before we knew she was in my womb and I said yes. He asked if I believed she was His child even before we let her go out on her own and leave our nest. I said, yes, she's always your child first, we just get the priviledge of raising her on earth with Your help. So, knowing the truths of our daughter, that she is a child of God first gives me the biggest peace, knowing that she is ours to love and raise on earth and God will take care of everything if we let Him. I don't know how He is forming her everyday in my body, I can read all the books about what she might look like right now and read about her developments but I don't know fully how He is forming her right now...that's His miracle, that's part of His mysterious self. I shouldn't have to question His greatness! He is great!
So, we give her to You, God and we pray that she sees You and desires, chooses to walk with you on earth when she's old enough to grasp and choose this for herself. Thank you for our miracle! We look forward to meeting her and loving on her! We give her to you now and always. Help us be everything to her that you desire us to be.

This pregnancy has been nothing but healthy! Her growth is right on and she's even head down right now (all ready for her arrival). Praising God for so much!

This was a life growing inside of me and will never be forgotten! One day we will meet you, baby!
Love,
daddy and mommy