Free Ice Cream night!

For 2 years in a row we have gone to Shaker Square for free ice cream on tax day. Shaker Square is where our new church plant is going to be. Nataleigh got to enjoy the ice cream this time! She LOVED it!

I know what happend to me and I will never be the same again...

A journal entry from Friday, April 17, 2009 (1 year after our miscarriage)

A blank page...a new beginning?
It was a year go we lost our precious life growing inside my womb. So much has happened I can't even comprehend it all. It's so true that God takes times to break you so you will only be stronger. Am I sad our first child is gone, yes. Would I trade this experience? No, never I would not.
This experience in the valley has been so intriguing. Every day there was something else new to learn. It's brought me closer to my daddy, my papa-God the Father! I trust Him more-sound weird, yes, but no. Only weird in ones heart who does not know our God. You see, we live in an evil world. Bad things happen to EVERYONE. Complicated? Yes! Mysterious? Yes! Make God more confusing? Yes, but do we really know Him well? Do we know that NO MATTER WHAT, He will never, ever for a minute, second, hour, day, night, week, month ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, LEAVE US!!!!!!!? Wow! What a promise. He loves us SO much. He doesn't want to watch His children hurt. So when something goes wrong, due to the evil world we are in every day He tries to teach us through those things we get faced with. We never have to deal with our problems alone. Remember-He never leaves us!
So after about 2 days I had a choice to make-Yes, God allows us to make choices-It's "free will." I had a choice to give up completely--thoughts of taking my own life even were an option I GAVE MYSELF or I had a choice to accept a LOVE that could change me forever. The funny thing was is that I already had accepted this LOVE. But had I really? Yes, I believe so, but did I choose that for every second of the day-that I was going to Trust Him completely-even during the "greatest saddness" thus far in my life?- NO I had the choice to make and I chose my Papa, my Daddy-The Love of a Lifetime I wanted Him to be.
Today I constantly choose. It's a choice everyday-Will I "Live" or will I "Die"-I've chosen I'm not just going to "live" I'm going to "die" to all of the things that separate me from my Papa. It's not easy, but this is what I'm striving for.
After loosing our little life Chris and I grew to love our Father even more and each other too. It was something we worked through every day.
5 months after loosing our baby God gave us a miracle in my womb. Were there times of doubt, yes. Were there times of fear, yes...but I was learning to trust Him more and this, I believe was the ultimate test in my journey up until that point. There were so many times I was utterly foolish and I look back now and see how far I've come and am thankful.
Today I am 32 weeks and 6 days pregnant with what we have been told, a healthy baby girl!!!!!!! Her name is Nataleigh Love. We chose her first name simply for the fact we thought it was a beautiful name and then we spelled the "lie" part like my middle name "leigh" is spelled to make it more meaningful. Her middle name is Love-my maiden name is Love and looking back on what we have gone through in life we know we are nothing without Love-Our GREAT Love. Love is what we want all of our children to know-to embrace with their whole beings. But just like us-they too will have a choice.
Remember when I talked about evil? It's everywhere in this world because nothing will be perfect until heaven. This is why there is death. Death hurts in every way. Last night I found out that my cousin, 40 years old who battled Cystic Fibrosis for his entire life passed away from this life. Are you serious? Yet another reminder of death just one day before the Anniversary of remembering our child's death? But I'm brought back to my true Love. His promises NEVER waiver. He stays true to His word.
"But those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
They will run and not grow weary, they will walk
and not be faint." -Isaiah 40:31

A blank page, no-not anymore. Pages full of life that have chosen to take this Journey. Journeys can be so packed full if we just take them-and one step at a time.

Always love you, little one. Will never know what happened to you but I know what happened to me and I will never be the same again!

I pulled this journal out after leading a Beth Moore Bible study on the book of Esther. So many things in that study lead me back to this experience and I was blown away by how God used that to draw me so close to Him and to realize why we sometimes have to go through the things we do.
It's taken me a long time to open up about this to the world but over time I've come to a place where I can. Healing takes time and we all heal at a different pace.
God is telling me it's time to open up because there might be something someone could learn about Him through this.
As I reflect on Nataleigh's healthy pregnancy and life I'm blown away by God's blessing. And here we are with another healthy pregnancy. Praise Him-all Glory to Him. Blessing after blessing.

He gives and takes away. Blessed be His Name!

38 weeks!

The Beginning of our Journey

Announcing to our friends...

The day we found out...

First ultrasound (some commented that it looks like the baby is playing tennis!) ;)

I don't have a whole lot to say since I just posted about the baby turning on Thursday!!! I'm very exhausted, don't have much of an appetite, kinda grumpy and trying to get things all in order before the baby comes.
I think the thing I'm most excited about is the mystery of when I will go into my birthing time. Nataleigh was 2 days past her "guess" date but all babies and pregnancies are so different. My midwife is on call all next week so it would be wonderful if the baby was ready to come then!! But if not, that's fine too...I won't dwell on that fact!
I've noticed Nataleigh being very attached to my stomach (more than usual) over the past few weeks. It's very interesting and makes me wonder why. The other thing I'm equally excited about is watching Nataleigh with this baby for the first time! She is such the mother hen and it will be fun to watch her!
Until then...

Baby Turned!!!!!!!!

37 weeks 5 days
Thank you all for your prayers! The baby has turned and we are all ready to go! Our midwife is on call starting Sunday for a week so it would be really awesome if this baby decides to come then!! ;)
Please pray for a healthy, wonderful, beautiful delivery and that the baby continues to be in good position!

Fun with Kellen

Once a week I watch our friend's little boy, Kellen. Nataleigh and Kellen are about 3 months apart and love each other dearly. Today was probably the last time I will watch him for awhile. I was a bit teary-eyed...but what doesn't make me teary-eyed right now? ;) They were especially fun today. They played with a Cookie Monster play dough set that Kellen had gotten for his Birthday and they had a blast! They also chased each other around the house for a long time and found it fun to fall on the ground laughing hysterically. They are too much! I love this age!

Kellen's Birthday party

Our friend's little boy had his Birthday party this afternoon. He had an indoor pool party with all of his little friends...so much fun! (It's hard to believe I will be planning Nataleigh's 2nd Birthday really soon.) It made for a very busy day because we also had church that morning. We don't normally pack this much in a day so I was curious how Nataleigh would do. She fell asleep on the way home and I just had to take a picture because normally she would be in her bed for a nap. They are so sweet to watch sleeping!

37 weeks

37 weeks today! Feeling pretty good...sleeping a little better. I'm pretty uncomfortable, though and can really feel this baby dropping more and more which makes my trips to the bathroom even more frequent :) I think 3 during the middle of the night now :) I've been nesting a lot this past week. Chris put the car seat together and moved Nataleigh's seat to make room for the base which is now in the car. I've started packing our bags, getting the rooms all organized how we want them and cleaned and decorated the house a little bit for Spring.
This Thursday we will have our ultrasound (to check the baby's position) and our appt. with the midwife. Continue to pray for this baby's position.